Stay Sane Through the First Holiday Season After Your Divorce

The holiday season comes with its in-built stress and demands on everyone. The culture of gift-giving, spending time together with family members and general fantasies all add up to the demands of the season for all of us. However, if you have recently experienced the trauma of a breakdown in your marital relationship or a divorce, you may find that the stress of the holiday season added upon your existing situation makes life too complex.

As the holiday season approaches, you may even be finding it difficult to look ahead to the celebrations. Your life seems challenging enough as it is. You may be asking ‘What is there to celebrate?’

We would like to reassure you that you are not alone in your struggles. We would like to offer you some tips and suggestions to help you walk through the first holiday season after your divorce.

Tips:

1. It is important to forgive the past so as to free yourself to enjoy your time in a different and new way. Pause, mourn and acknowledge your past life.

2. Take time to celebrate the past. Embrace the memories of past holiday seasons when your lost relationship was intact.

3. List your fears about the upcoming season. They may be related to the lost love of your life and the inability to carry out your normal traditions.

4. Accept the limitations of the present.

5. List your new options. Analyze the resources that are within your reach as a single person or single parent.

6. Have an open mind and be creative in using alternative options to achieve your holiday goals. For example, you can join community celebrations if you find that you are going to be alone.

7. Know that this stage too will pass. The transitional feeling of a different kind of family get-together will not last forever.

8. Take time to focus on the REAL REASON for the season- the birth of Jesus the Saviour. It is meant to be a period of hope. He is also the Redeemer. He is able to give you a unique type of joy and new reasons to celebrate.

9. If you have children who live with you or your ex-spouse, try and get them involved in the planning for the holiday.

10. Use your wisdom to decide which invitation for parties to honour especially during the first holiday after your divorce.

11. Find ways to nurture yourself. Care for yourself. Spend time with discerning friends and family who understand your emotions and will nurture you.

For additional tips and tools to help you stay on top of your situation during the holiday season, please click here.

For more resources on managing changes in your life ALL YEAR ROUND, please visit

www.staysanethroughchange.com

Dave Webster and Tolu Adeleye, authors and life-change experts, through their consultancy provide you and your clients with tools for dealing with life transitions. Their areas of expertise include family- and career-related transitions.

To get instant access to such tools, visit www.staysanethroughchange.com

You may reach the authors through info@staysanethroughchange.com